In both romantic and sexual relationships, mutual masturbation is often an underestimated form of intimacy. In a society defined by penetrative sex as the epitome of physical connection, however, the act still claims its own very high ground. Mutual masturbation brings people together and stimulates play, encourages exploration–and all the while guarantees pleasure. It fosters intimacy, allows for exploration, and fosters open communication between partners–all whilst providing pleasure.
In this comprehensive guide, we cover everything you need to know about mutual masturbation: what it is exactly; how it brings relationships together; common misconceptions; potential hazards; communication guidelines; how to perform creative tricks and styles of advanced competition–even how you can elevate your experience to a whole new level.
What Is Mutual Masturbation?
Mutual masturbation is when partners stimulate themselves sexually in each other’s presence. It takes different forms; engaging physically together but also being in the same place virtually via phone and video calls. Or for partners to manually stimulate one another. It combines elements of solo and partnered pleasure into one. As a form of intimacy this removes the pressure to “perform” and places emphasis instead on shared exploration and mutual gratification; it is a way for people to connect physically and emotionally without the complications that sometimes accompany penetrative sex. Mutual masturbation is all about sharing your most personal form of pleasure with somebody you love and trust.
Why It’s Good for Your Relationships
For many couples, mutual masturbation offers a unique opportunity for intimacy and vulnerability. Here is why:
- Enhanced Communication: When you see your partner pleasure themselves, it provides a rare chance to learn about what they like. This kind of “hands-on” sex-education enables both partners to take more care of each other.
- Reduced performance pressure: Usually, sex after intercourse will come with some expectations that are not necessarily spoken – like a large penis or erections, orgasms, or specific positions. Mutual masturbation eliminates the need for those things and permits both partners to concentrate on only their own pleasure.
Mutual Masturbation: Trust and Vulnerability
In an intimate act like mutual masturbation the bond between partners deepens. The person who lets another see them in such a private moment practices both self-affirmation and connectedness.
Introducing new things: More and More Packages of Possibilities
With its lack of restrictions, cheers for ideas, and moment-by-moment collaboration, mutual masturbation is perfect when you want to try out sex toys, techniques that are unexplored thus far (S&M), or indulge in another fantasy.
Long-distance romance: And for those who like living apart together
When coitus is out of the question or impossible, mutual masturbation on the phone or by video offers a way to stay connected and satisfied.
Debunking Mutual Masturbation, the Myths Among the Benefits
Mutual masturbation is the source of many stories and conjectures that are simply false. Let’s put the record straight:
- Mutual Masturbation Can Emerge as a Substitute for “Real” Sex: A lot of people think that mutual masturbation is just a stepping stone, a little bit of a sop for those who aren’t willing to go all out in bed. But that’s not true in the least. It is a legitimate form of satisfying sexual activity in its own right and has just as much validity as screwing with your partner.
- Drop the Bias: Everyone is suitable for mutual masturbation no matter what sex they are or their sexual orientation. It’s really about intimacy that can bring about shared feelings and transcend stereotypes or taboos.
- Masturbation Harms The Body: In some circles there are those who still cling tenaciously to the outmoded belief that masturbation will destroy both mind and body. In truth, it is one of most safe and healthy ways for you to get in touch with yourself and relieve stress.
Place To Go To Obtain Necessary Rituals
While the act of masturbating – whether alone or with another person – is basically safe, there are a couple of considerations that can help ensure your enjoyment.
- Infection Risks: While unsupervised entertainment is intrinsically free of danger, people can pass sexually transmitted infections through physical contact if they come into contact with each other’s genitals or share sex toys; use condoms or sterilize objects to reduce this risk.
- Privacy Concerns: Virtual mutual masturbation is a trust activity. Be wary of screenshots, recordings and potential data breaches. Make sure to only engage with someone at the back of your soul trust thoroughly. Only engage in mutual masturbation with this level of trust, do not take in.
- Emotional Vulnerability: This level of intimacy may make your partner feel overwhelmed at first. It is vital that you keep an open line of communication, and express what makes them comfortable.
How to Approach Mutual Masturbation with Your Partner
It may be awkward to broach the subject of mutual masturbation at first, but if you frame it in terms of a journey together toward greater intimacy then framing it this way can make people more comfortable. This article will show you several ways to bring it up:
- Focus on Curiosity: “I’ve been reading up on ways of deepening intimacy, and I’d like to explore something new with you.”
- Turn It into Something Positive: “I really think this looks like a great fun way to find out even more about each other and what we enjoy.”
- Make It a Connection Thing: “Even if we can’t be physically together, this can still be one way to stay close.
Setting the Scene: Creating an Environment Where You Feel Comfortable
In body or in spirit, choose well-arranged settings to heighten your feelings:
- Physical Set: Choose a spot that is private and comfortable for both of you where you feel safe—like a bedroom, the sofa or even a warm bathtub.
- Lighting: A lack of light or candles can bring relaxation and intimacy.
- Tools: Have tissues, lube, and sex toys close to hand so as not to disturb proceedings.
- Abstinence Style: Music or background noise can help placate any initial jitters.
Techniques for Mutual Masturbation If It’s Possible To See Each Other
If you are able to be physically present while masturbating at the same time as another person, then the sky’s the limit. Here are some possible positions, techniques and tips.
- Sideways on An Even Keel: This classic position allows both people to stay close and safe. It’s perfect for beginners who may feel embarrassed at first.
- Face-to-Face: If you both sit across from one another, both of you will be able to make clear, loving eye contact which provides a fully intimate experience.
- Layered Touch: Add yet another layer of intimacy by draping a leg over your partner’s thigh or by sharing light touches during that most intimate of acts.
Virtual Mutual Masturbation: Phone and Video Play
Whether it’s long-distance couples who are one bedroom apart or partners exploring intimacy by remote control, virtual mutual masturbation is equally satisfying. Here’s how best to:
- Phone Play: Use your voice to talk about what you’re doing, what feels good. And what you’d like your whole body to do next.
- Video Play: Choose a position where your camera gives your partner the best view of you. At the same time it should be easy for both of you at either end. Use a tripod or pile books to steady it, to prevent leaving a trail of shaky footage for others later on down this line.
- Interactive Toys: App-controlled sex toys like vibrators and prostate stimulators let your partner at the other end of the phone take control of your pleasure, adding even more for good measure though not without a bit of unpredictability every now and then.
Advanced Tips and Tricks
Once you get used to it, try these advanced techniques to really take things up a notch:
- Blindfolds: By removing the visual element, they heighten sensations and trust.
- Temperature Play: Ice cubes, warm oils or heated toys can give added stimulation.
- Role-Playing: Dressing up or acting out fantasies can boost excitement and reduce inhibitions.
Troubleshooting: What to Do If It Isn’t Working
Not every session will be perfect, and that’s OK. If something feels off:
- Pause and Communicate: Say something like “I’m just not feeling this right now. Can we try something else?”
- Shift Focus: Suggest switching to another activity, like cuddling or watching something together.
- Take a Break: Sexual activities should always invoke pleasurable feelings, rather than being something that you feel forced into doing. Think about this later if necessary.
Best Positions for Ultimate Pleasure
There are a few positions that will satisfy every woman no matter the level of experience.
- Body doubles by inserting ideas from the left side or right while holding one hand in front and stimulating one’s own genitals with the other hand.
- Rock Off: Put yourself at either end of a bed, lying face down and sideways. Then it’s time for a playful bedroom contest.
- Traddles and Stimulates and Stimulated: One partner sits down on the other partner’s tights/thighs with mingling fingers and precious movements directed back inwards. Both strive individually for their Erotic pleasure of the Other.
Takeaway: Enjoyment Extended beyond Yourself
From that point on, mutual masturbation gained a place of its own in everyday life. In the last year or so there have been some very valuable new books aimed at helping men (but not women) improve their mutual masturbation skills. As Relationships Abound stated, “Masturbation brings people together. It is necessary for our survival!”
The comedian and (future) singer Conan O’Brien, in announcing his return to television on September 1st with an all-new show called “Conan O’Brien Presents: Team CoCo,” showed scenes from his upcoming comedy special that will take the place of his Daily Show on HBO. It’s just like going to the strip club, only you’re not being hustled by the girls.
Reference
- “5 Ways to Calm the Jitters.” Oprah, https://www.oprah.com/spirit/5-ways-to-calm-the-jitters.
- “Stereotypes, Bias and Culture.” Country Navigator, https://www.countrynavigator.com/blog/stereotypes-bias-and-culture.
- “Billie Piper – IMDb.” IMDb, https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005277/.
- “8 Ways You Can Improve Your Communication Skills.” Harvard Professional Development, https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/8-ways-you-can-improve-your-communication-skills/.
